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Of All the Kings Men and the Law of the Land


"He that cannot obey, cannot command."
Ben Franklin.

"I am ordered to storm one of the breeches this evening. As the service is rather dangerous, and I may not return, I beg leave to assure your Royal Highness as well as Madame, that whatever may happen to me, I shall, at every moment, feel how much I am indebted to you.
Belive, Sir, that my last moments shall be to wish all the happiness, which you, as well as Madame so eminently deserve I have the honour to be with eternal gratitude, your Royal Highness' most obedient and grateful servant."
Edward De Salabery.

"We have no more than 50 kill'd and wounded, and one officer besides the Colonel. What preserved us, was our keeping close order, and advancing near the enemy ere we fir'd. Several that popp'd at 100 paces lost more of their men, and did less execution, for the French will stand fire at a distance, th''tis plain they cannot look men in the face."
The Gentlemans Magazine.

"On this day, at this place, a new era opens in the history of the world."
Goetha on the battle of Valmy.

"No thing is so hard as killing of men."
Edward Stilman.

The Battle of Waterloo having been fought within reach, every creature who could afford it, travelled to view the field; and almost everyone who came who could write, wrote an account. It is inconcievable the number of lies that were published and circulated in this manner by English travellers; and other nations, seeing how succesfully this could be done, thought it as well to adopt the same means of circulating their own stories. This has been done with such industry, that it is now quite certain that I did not command in the Battle of Quartre Bras, and it isvery doubtful whether I was present in the Battle of Waterloo. It is not so easy to dispose of the British Army as it is of an individual; but although it is admitted that they were present, the brave Belgiums, or the brave Prussians, won the battle; and neither in histories, pamphlets, plays, nor pictures, are the British troops ever noticed.

"Were you to come on parade now, you would likley find your son [aged 2], on guard, as he spends at least two hours every day in and about the sentry box with his own gun, and tells the soldiers, 'he is going to shoot Bonaparte'...The soldiers are very fond of him and I leave him under their care wishing to make him fearless."

"The Guards have marched this morning to embark at Deptford for Ostend. I concider they will be there in two days. The fellows went off in high spirits, as it is known that beer, bread, meat and gin are cheap in Flanders."

All persons liable to serve in the Militia, by paying the small sum of five shillings and six pence into the hands of J.Tymbs, Worcester, appointed agent to recieve subscriptions for the society, will be provided with proper substitutes, if chosen by lot to serve.
Berrows Worcester Journal.

The troop of Yeomanry Cavalry marched to the Madresfield mansion of County M.P. W.Lygon, last week. Several loyal songs and loyal toasts were given before they left, highly gratfied with the hospitable treatment shown them by that worthy gentleman and his amiable lady.
Berrows Worcester Journal.

"I stood and chatted a while with the sentries before Buckingham House. One of them, an old fellow, said he was in the last war - They asked me for a pint of beer which I gave them."
James Boswell.

"Everyman thinks meanly of himself for not having been a soldier, or not having been to sea."

"At Wellingtons Headquarters there are no books, no women but ladies of a certain description, and as to living, you would be surprized what good living is here except at Lord W's table."
Francis Larpent.

"Do yopu reckon," I asked" upon any support from the French Kings troops at Alost ?" - "Oh!" said he, " don't mention such fellows ! No; I think Blucher and I can do the buisness" - Then seeing a private soldier of one of out infantry regiments enter the park gaping about at the statues and imagies; "Ther," he said, pointing at the soldier, it all depends upon that article whether we can do the buisness or not. Give me enough of it and I am sure."
Creevey.[Talking to Wellington].

Sailors thet get all the money,
Soldiers they get none but brass,
I do love a jolly sailor,
Soldiers, you may kiss my arse.

Ere Hawke did bang,
Monsieur Conflans
You sent us beef and beer:
Now Monsieurs beat,
We've naught to eat
Since you have naught to fear.

'' You had better pull off your boots and put on silk stockings, as I have done. If one should get shot in the leg, they would be so much more manageable for the surgeon.''
Admiral Collingwood to his first lieutenant [at Trafalgar].

"No man will be a sailor, who has contrivance enough to get himself in gaol, for being in a ship is being gaol, with the chance of being drowned."

"You amy rest assured, that the civil branch of the Navy is rotton to the core."
Admiral Lord Vincent.

[After 18 months at sea]."My uncle resolved to run up into the Downs at once; but the wind shifting when we were abreast of the Isle of Wight, he was obliged to turninto St.Helens and come to Spithead, to the great mortification of the crew, thirty of whom were immediatly pressed on board a man of war."
Tobias Smollett.[Roderick Randome].

"The surgeon is a good natured indolent man; the first mate, who is now on shore duty, is indeed a little proud and choleric, as all Welshmen are, but , in the main, a friendly honest fellow. The lieutants I have no concern with; and as for the captain, he is too much of a gentleman to know a surgeons mate, even by sight."
Tobias Smollett.[Roderick Randome].

To the perpetual disgrace of public justice
The Honourable John Byng Esq
Admiral of the Fleet
Fell martyr to political Persecution
March 14th in the year 1757, when
Bravery and Loyalty were insufficient securities for the
Life and Honnour
Of a Naval Officer.

The official Gazette of Vienna states that the Prince Regent of England and the Duke of York have been nominated, "at their own request," Field Marscalls in the Austrian army.
Gentlemans Magazine.

"There were from forty to fifty Generals; perhaps as many Admirals, with throngs of officers of rank inferior. I remarked upon the number of wounded. Who is that I asked, pallid, but with a countenance so animated ? 'That's General Walker,' I was told, 'pierced with bayonets leading on the assult at Badajoz.' And he, close by, tall, but limping ? Colonel Ponsonby, he was left for dead at Waterloo; the cavalry, it was thought had trampled upon him.' Then came one of like port, but deprived of a leg, slowly moving; and the whisper went , 'that's Lord Anglsea.' A fourthhad been wounded at Seringapatam; a fifth at Talavera; some had suffered in Egypt; some in America. There were those who had recieved scars on the deck with Nelson; others who carried them from the days of Howe. One, yes one, had fought at Saratoga. All had 'done their duty', this was the favorite praise bestowed.
Richard Rush. [Americian Minister in London]. at Carlton House.

"I hate militia officers; a set of dunkhill cocks with spurs on - heros scratched off a church door - clowns in military masquerade, wearing the dress without supporting the charactor. No give me the bold upright youth, who makes love to-day, and his head shot off tomorow. Dear ! to think how sweet the fellows sleep on the ground and fight in silk stockings and lace ruffles."
R.B.Sheridan.[S.T.Patricks Day].

The officers [of the 10th Hussars] associate with no one but their own corps. Most  of them keep their own blood horses and their girls. At one O'clock they appear on parade to hear the word of command given to the subaltern guard; afterwards they toss off their glass of brandy, dine about five, and come about eight to the theatre.
The Times.

"...and his dress was worthy of attention...his lank hair tied in a stiff Hessian tail of an extraodinary length; old fashioned flaps on his waistcoat added to the general appearance of quaintness of his figure...I had never seen anything like it before, nor could I imagine who he was, nor what he came about."
William III, [as a Midshipman] on first seeing Nelson.

On the 9th of Febuary a Court Martial was conviened to hear charges against two marines. One recieved 100 lashes for being drunk whilst on guard duty. Another was sentenced to 200 lashes for striking a most infamous wantoness because she would not go out under the trees with him.
London Chronical.

No-one liked paying at Tollgates and many tried to avoid having to.
George III was paying a visit to Bishop Hurd and was traveling North from Cheltenham. At the Barban [Barbourne] Tollgate Worcester an equirey demanded of the Toll Keeper free passage for the King. Robert Sleath explained that as His Magesty wasn't at the Head of his troops and the realm in peril the King must pay as everyone else. After an argument the equirey gave up, payment was promised. Sleath opened the gate and the Royal progress sped through un-interupted. No-one paid. Sleath closed the gate.
The following day George III was traveling South back to Cheltenham. The Royal party met a firmly shut Barban Tollgate. 27 shillings demanded an un-smiling Sleath [the cost of two journeys]. The money was paid, the gate opened.

Save a thief from the gallows, and he'll cut your throat.

They have an admirable police at Paris, but they pay for it dear enough. I had rather half a dozen peoples throats be cut in Radcliffe Highway every three or four years, than be subject to domicillery visits, spies and all the rest of Fouche's contrivances.

''On arriving at his house in Palace Yard, we were shown into a room below stairs, whilst Lord Cochrane and Hunt conversed above; a slight  and elegant young lady, dressed in white and very interesting, served us with wine. She is, if I am not misinformed, now Lady Dundonald. At lenghth his Lordship came to see us.
Samual Bamford visiting Lord Cochrane in prison.

"...these are all cobweb laws, in which the small flies are catch'd, and the great ones break through...we do not find the rich drunkard carried before my Lord Mayor, nor a swearing lewd merchant.
Daniel Defoe.

"I own I have been sometimes inclined to think that this office of a Justice of the Peace required some knowledge of the law."

Where the mob gather, swiftly shoot along,
Nor idly mingle in the noisey throng.
Lured by silver hilt, amid the swarm,
The subtle artist will thy side disarm.
Nor is thy flaxen wig with safty worn;
High on the shoulder, in the basket born,
Lurks the sly boy; whose hand to rapine bred,
Plucks off the curling honours of the head,
Here dives the skulking thief, with practiced slight,
And unfelt fingers make thy pocket light.
Where's now thy watch, with all its trinkets flown ?
And thy late snuff-box is no more thy own.
John Gay.

"A file is worth all the Bibles in the World"
Jack Sheppard.....When in Newgate.

"What the devil signifies right, when honour is concerned ? Do you think Achilles, or my little Alexadner the Great, ever inquired where the right lay ? No by my soul, they drew their broadswords and left the lazy sons of peace to settle the justice of it."
R.B.Sheridan.[The Rivals].

"A man of £10,000. a year may worry a fox as much as he pleases, encourage the bred of this mischievous animal on purpose to worry it; and a poor labourer may be carried before a magistrate for paying a sixpence to see an exibition of courage between a dog and a bear."

No child is born a criminal,
No child is born an angel,
He's just born.
Sir Sidney Smith

Reward for catching a Highwayman.....£40.00.
Reward for catching an Army Deserter.....£1.00.

An old Rotherhide fellow, nicknamed Balaan, who carried greens round has been tormented, by jokes played on his ass; he swore at his tormentors, and was taken before a magistrate, who fined him 15/- for three oaths. Now in the street he heard this magistrate swearing at his workmen and informed against him; so the later was fined 20/- [four oaths].

On the morning of this execution they were taken to Saint Mary's church [at Nottingham] where they heard the condemned sermon, and then to their graves in which they were permitted to lie down to see if they would fit. They walked to the place of execution in their shrouds.

"I want to devise some grevious punishment for Lauder, for surit it is hard that the laws should not reach so atrocious a crime. Caligula's decree about bad authors is this minute come into my mind, and I think the making him to lick out all his lies and forgeries would be no severe, and and a proper kind of penalty for him."
Lady Anson.

...On further concideration of the Frame Work Knitters Bill, the Capital punishment for breaking frames maliciously, was changed to transportation for life, or for a term of years, at the discretion of the judge.
House of Lords.

"Executions are intended to draw spectators. If they do not draw spectors, they don't answer their purpose !'
Dr Johnson.

"Poor Tucker was hung this Aft, about 5.o'clock near Wells - & it is reported that he persisted in his innocence to the very last - however I cannot think him innocent; if he is I doubt but he will be amply rewarded, if he is not - Lord be merciful unto his soul."
Parson Woodforde.